1. NO. 1 - LIZZIE CAPLAN - DONNA KARAN

    Did I get enough angles for you?  I suppose I could have checked to see if that jackass paparazzo took an up skirt photo, but I doubt it.  Oh, this is so coy.  From the front, it’s all retro glamour.  It’s fit for a starlet’s night out at the Mocambo to meet up with Bogie and Jimmy Stewart.  Only the side cut outs suggest what we’ve got coming from the back.  There we see that deep open cut leading to that long white flag signaling us to surrender.  And so I have.  With nary a struggle, I give the number 1 spot to Caplan.

     
  2. NO. 2 - DEBRA MESSING - ANGEL SANCHEZ

    This didn’t get much love from the fashion peeps.  Perhaps because the look is more architectural and cerebral which some call  “cold”, but I call it “brilliant”.  This is also how you do sheer: not too much showing, yet no annoying distracting underlay to ruin the effect. How fortunate that her red hair should bring a pop of color. The handbag scores major points too.

     
  3. NO. 3. - HEIDI KLUM - ZAC POSEN

    I never thought I’d see the day when Heidi Klum would be at number 3 on a fashion list of mine.  She likes her skin showing.  Lots of unsupported cleavage, and at least one thigh high slit, if not two.  I’m all for skin, but with some sense of proportion and Heidi is generally of the “more is more” variety.  Well, Zac Posen was having none of it.  This time, he was seeing to it that she wear fabric and lots of it… in peach.  To be fair, she had some effect on him too, since the cut doesn’t bare his usual tortured bra cups or corset synching.  Together, they make a fine pair (with the occasionally celebrity assist). 

     
  4. NO. 4 - KATE WALSH - STÉPHANE ROLLAND

    Some didn’t care for the solid block of yellow, but I like it, especially since there is a change up in the cut with the peplum and the mermaid flare at the hem. The diamonds don’t hurt either.  This is stately.  And for anyone who says otherwise… well, thems fightin’ words.

    Kate Walsh Emmys

     
  5. NO. 5 - CHRISTINE BARANSKI - ZAC POSEN

    Perhaps I’m placing this gown higher than I should, but she’s a woman over 60 with a killer body.  This dress hides nothing and she is wearing it with her head held high.  No embellishments.  No bells or whistles for distractions.  She knows she looks good.  Damn good.  And then… there is that cape.

    When I saw her face after an announcer commented on her cape, I had to tweet a caption: 

    Christine Baranski perfecting the “I’ve got a cape. Where are yours bitches?!” over the shoulder head toss.

    The knowing head toss was so perfect.  Isn’t this is how every woman wants to walk a red carpet? With so much confidence you can descend a stair case while nonchalantly looking behind you… in laughter. 

     
  6. NO. 6 - TEYONAH PARRIS - CHRISTIAN SIRIANO

    Back in the day, when I used to watch Style with Elsa Klensch on CNN, I would wait for Klensch to say that one word that she made sound like the best word in the entire English language. There’d be a sentence like “This Spring / Summer collection from Rifat Ozbek gave us the sights, and the feel of the Orient with a healthy dose of COLOR!”  It was that word - color (pronounced “KAHLA!” with head thrown back in abandon) that made me smile. This dress - with it’s healthy dose of “KAHLA” - brings out that same joy.  And, from the smile on Parris’ face, I’d say it does the same for her, too.  

     
  7. NO. 7 - GWEN STEFANI - ATELIER VERSACE

    I feel no photo can do this dress justice.  It’s made of Swarovski crystals and is quite blingy, which blows out the detail in photos. However, in motion on the red carpet, it flowed like a semi-liquid metal and danced all over my eyeballs.  I feel the top is the real selling point here as I’m not as crazy about the skirt, especially the unnecessary side cut out, but still, it is something else.

     
  8. NO. 8 - SARAH HYLAND - CHRISTIAN SIRIANO

    This is fun. It’s a colorful burst of citrus. Delightful and young. Unfortunately, it brings to mind the Naeem Khan dress Leslie Mann wore to the Emmys just 2 years before, which frankly, I prefer. Still, I won’t let the similarity shake my enthusiasm for Hyland’s lovely presentation.

     
  9. NO. 9 - TAYLOR SCHILLING - ZUHAIR MURAD

    Okay, I needed to show you what Schilling wore to the Emmys this year (top) vs her Thakoon gown from last year (bottom).  Clearly the woman has a favorite style, however, this recent one is better.  The hair is up, and the wattage is on.  This dress sparkles and has texture and veins. Don’t you want to trace it with your finger (from a respectable distance, of course)?  

     
  10. NO. 10 - MICHELLE DOCKERY - ROSIE ASSOULIN

    I’ve chosen to look past the 1770’s war widow hairdo and focus on the print of the gown which reminds of me the 1970’s - thankfully in a way that doesn’t make me wince. The color is bold in striping (reminiscent of those tube socks worn to the knee that was all the rage with kids of the day ).  Yet, it is smart and elegant. It catches your eye, then leads you to take in the different layers and pieces in a way that suggests movement, though she may be standing still.  It is quietly surprising, and different from anything else worn that evening.

     
  11. THE LAST HONORABLE MENTION - KIERNAN SHIPKA

    Shipka is here largely because I can’t imagine a Best Dressed List without her.  This dress is so spare with that one bit of broad bling, then back to the spareness.  How smart.  It’s a thinking woman’s dress.  The very sort of thing a forward thinking fashionista like Shipka would bring to the party.  Love the styling she’s done with it as well.  Oh, this girl slays me.

     
  12. MORE HONORABLE MENTIONS - TAISSA FARMIGA AND LOUISE ROE 

    Here come the new prints.  They aren’t representational or geometric.  They’re a mood.  They speak of sadness or joy.  They say whatever your Rorschach tells you.  They’ve been The Next Big Thing in ready to wear for a few seasons and now they’re cracking the Red Carpet.  Behold the future!

     
  13. HONORABLE MENTION - SELENIS LEYVA AND LENA HEADEY

    This duo represent a yin and yang.  Once you get past the dated look from the neck up, Leyva presents a quite charming pretty sweetness: white, fluffy and flowing.  Conversely, Headey takes a more androgynous turn with a fabric that mirrors the pinstripes of a man’s suit balanced by an edgy flowing cut.

     
  14. THE TOP 10 WOMEN OF THE 2014 EMMYS (and a few Honorable Mentions)

    It’s that time of year again.  Well, it was that time of year about a week ago, but still, here it is, my talking cheerfully out of my ass Emmys Fashion Best Dressed list.  Enjoy!

    Elaine Benes and Tim Whatley

     
  15. "What are you laughing at, Kate?  Your hat is just as ridiculous as mine.  It is so.  Oh, do shut up!"